The Runaway Heart
by pixelatrix
Summary: Did you really message me at 0100 to ask about my current choice of underwear? Sequel to: The Renegade Heart. Renegade Fem Shep & Hackett pairing. Slight Spoilers for ME1, ME2 & ME3. Rated M for Language & Stuff. Post ME3 story.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **

**One month after the Reaper Wars, Shepard walked away from the Alliance and Admiral Hackett. He's been looking for her ever since.**

**This is a sequel to The Renegade Heart.**

**I got the idea for the text/chat messages while I was replaying the Shadow Broker mission and saw Garrus' dossier.**

**Beta: None**

**Bioware owns all. Sadly.**

**Read. Enjoy. Review. **

_Fucking coward._

_Commander fucking Shepard was a fucking coward._

It was the thought that kept her up at night. Eleven months ago, Shepard was the hero of the Reaper war. Ten months ago, the attention had finally gotten to her and she disappeared from it. She left in the middle of the night. She abandoned the Alliance and Hackett.

_Hackett._

She sat up in bed with a groan. It felt like someone punched her in the gut every damn time she thought about the Admiral. She'd left him on Earth without a word. There was no way he was going to be able to her forgive her for that. And she couldn't remember the last time that she'd apologized to anyone for anything. The regrets had started the moment the shuttle she boarded left London. And they grew with each day.

_Damn fucking idiot._

Ten long fucking months, Shepard fell off the grid. No news. No extranet. Nothing. And no goddamn _Normandy._ She missed her ship and her crew. And him. She really missed _him._

_Stupid._

Pushing off the bed, she headed over to stare out the window. This month the rebuilt Elysium was her home. Moving every few months ensured that no one found her… or worse, recognized her. It was a lonely existence. But no one demanded anything of her, no one asked her to save them.

In the last few months, she hadn't checked her messages once. The downside of knowing the Shadow Broker was that Liara would probably be watching to see if she accessed her accounts. It was time to move again. And she was so goddamn tired of it. She felt like such an idiot.

She packed up her bag and disappeared into the crowded streets. She passed by the local cafe that had public extranet terminals and for the first time in ten months, it was impossible to resist the urge to reach out. There were over three hundred messages from Hackett. It looked like there was one for each day that she'd been gone. She felt the punch in her gut again. Against her better judgment, she broke down and checked the one dated yesterday.

* * *

_From: Hackett_

_To: Shepard_

_Subj: Come Home_

_I miss you._

_I love you._

_At the very least, let me know that you're still alive out there somewhere._

_Please?_

_Hackett_

* * *

She should have walked…no…run away from the terminal. It was the _please_ that stopped her in her tracks; hell, she thought her heart stopped for a minute.

* * *

_From: Unknown Sender_

_To: Admiral Hackett_

_Subj: Commander Shepard_

…_is alive._

_~ A friend_

* * *

"I traced the message to a terminal on Elysium." Liara was speaking with Admiral Hackett over the vid-comm.

"Was it Shepard?" He'd contacted T'soni the minute that the anonymous message had been received.

"I can't say for certain. My agents haven't found a trace of her on Elysium. If she was there, she's gone now." Liara sounded strained over the comm. "But I do know that someone accessed her extranet account three days ago. Whoever it was, they read the last message that you sent then logged out. I'll keep looking for her, Admiral."

"Thanks, Hackett out."

Hackett moved away from his desk. He'd temporarily set up command at the rebuilt Alliance HQ in Vancouver. He was just waiting for Arcturus Station to be rebuilt. He planned on moving there in a few weeks. He didn't like the idea of leading the fleets from Earth. The picture on a nearby shelf caught his attention. It was Shepard, not long after the reapers were destroyed. He stepped closer to the frame.

_Where the hell was she?_

It was late. He decided that he'd done enough for one day. He made the short trip across the courtyard to the apartment that he was calling home. Stepping inside, he was just unbuttoning his shirt when he noticed a datapad sitting on the table in the entryway. It hadn't been there earlier. It contained one message.

* * *

_From: Unknown Sender_

_To: Hackett_

_Subj: re: Come Home._

_Are you sure?_

_I think I've fucked it all up pretty spectacularly._

_Haven't I?_

* * *

She was alive…maybe. She'd make her way back home to him. _Maybe_. He sent Liara a quick update and then poured himself a large glass of scotch. The datapad was still clutched in his hands an hour later. No matter how many times that he read it, it didn't offer him any further information. It was time to send an answering message to Shepard's old account in the hopes that she would check it.

* * *

_From: Hackett_

_To: Shepard_

_Subj: Sure?_

_Of course._

_I __love__ you._

_Hackett_

* * *

He wasn't sure what to expect, but he received a response an hour later.

* * *

_From: Shepard_

_To: Hackett_

_Subj: re: Sure?_

…_.._

* * *

And that was it. No words, just a serious of fucking dots. Hackett tapped his fingers on his glass for a few minutes. He knew she was checking the account. He pulled up the chat function and sent a text to her.

* * *

_23:14: H: I am sure, Shepard._

_23:21: S:….._

_23:21: H: You're going to have to use more than periods. Unless, it's Morse code._

_23:22: H: Will you tell me where you are?_

_23:23: S: Not yet._

_23:24: H: Will you tell me how you are at least? Are you ok?_

_23:24: S: No._

_23:24: S: Not even close to ok._

_23:25: H: What can I do?_

_23:34: H: Are you still there, Shepard?_

_23:37: H: I'm not going anywhere. I'll wait as long as you need me to._

_23:38: S: You…I don't know how to come back._

_23:39: H: Everyone understands your need to get away._

_23:40: S: Everyone? _

_23:40: H: Everyone that matters._

_23:42: S: Is Liara tracing this?_

_23:42: H: No, but thanks for the idea._

_23:43: S: Bastard._

_23:45: S: I miss you so much it hurts. And that really pisses me off._

_23:45: H: Then. Come. Back._

_23:53: S: Can I …text you again?_

_23:53: H: Anytime._

_23:55: User has disconnected._

* * *

Against his better judgment, Hackett decided not to have T'soni trace the chat. If he pushed Shepard, she'd never come back to him. He wasn't sure that the Commander would contact him again. But every morning, he sent a message to her extranet account like he had for the past few months. It was three days before he heard from her again.

* * *

_01:04: S: Are you awake?_

_01:10: H: Barely._

_01:11: S: Are you wearing the blue boxers?_

_01:12: H: Did you really message me at 0100 to ask about my current choice of underwear?_

_01:13: S: Not entirely, but your state of undress is always a personal priority to me._

_01:13: H: I'm not wearing the blue boxers._

_01:14: S: Pity._

_01:15: H: I'm not actually wearing anything at the moment. _

_01:20: S: Can a brain short circuit? _

_01:21: H: Maybe. Though why my being naked in bed would cause it is beyond me._

_01:22: S: You are an evil fucking bastard._

_01:23: H: You could tell me where you are. _

_01:24: S: Are you trying to blackmail me, Admiral?_

_01:24: H: If I were really playing dirty, Shepard, I'd tell you what I was doing with my hand._

_01:25: S: You are killing me._

_01:26: H: So tell me where you are._

_01:28: S: I…can't._

_01:29: H: So what was the other reason that you contacted me tonight?_

_01:30: S: I can't do this._

_01:31: H: Do what? Shepard?_

_01:33: User has disconnected._

* * *

"Damn it," Hackett muttered to himself.

The smart thing to do would be to contact Liara and have her located Shepard. But he was afraid to lose the tentative connection that he had with her.

* * *

_01:54: S: I thought talking to you would make being alone easier._

_01:54: S: It just makes it worse._

_01:55: H: I'm not going anywhere, Shepard._

_01:56: S: I'm moving again. I keep traveling. I know you're looking for me. I saw the Shadow Broker's agents on Elysium._

_01:57: H: I wasn't going to let you go without a fight. I won't stop looking for you._

_02:02: User has disconnected. _

* * *

Hackett was starting to regret every single time that he'd disconnected from a conversation without giving the other person a chance to say something. This was obviously the universe way of paying him back. He was just drifting off to sleep when a beep signaled an incoming vid-comm. He pulled on a shirt and shorts before heading over to answer.

_Shepard._

She just stared at him in silence for a moment. And then the call was disconnected. He scratched his jaw trying to figure out what the hell that was all about. Maybe she'd just wanted to see him. He gave up on sleep and sat down to send a note to Liara.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **

**Thanks for all the reviews, follows & favorites. It's always nice to know people are reading what you write lol.**

**Beta: None**

**Bioware owns all. Sadly.**

**Read. Enjoy. Review. **

It took Doctor T'soni several hours but she was able to track Shepard's location to Illium. The Commander was long gone by the time her agents got there. Hackett knew they wouldn't find her so damn easily. It didn't stop him from hoping and every night when he stepped into his home, he waited to hear from her. It was a long seven days.

* * *

_22:16: S: She missed by about an hour._

_22:19: H: The Shadow Broker was very disappointed. She's not used to her information failing her._

_22:20: S: I take a perverse pleasure in that knowledge._

_22:21: H: Can I ask you a question?_

_22:22: S: As long as it isn't, "where are you?"_

_22:23: H: Why did you leave?_

_22:26: S: Shit._

_22:26: S: I…don't know if I can explain._

_22:27: H: Try._

_22:27: H: Please?_

_22:28: S: There was nothing left to shoot._

_22:29: S: I've spent my career with one focus – the enemy. Now I have none._

_22:30: H: And I imagine all the sudden extra attention didn't help._

_22:31: S: No._

_22:32: H: But why leave me?_

_22:42: H: Shepard?_

_22:52: H: There are better ways to send a relationship._

_22:53: S: NO!_

_22:54: H: No?_

_22:55: User has disconnected._

* * *

Hackett rubbed his eyes with the palm of his hands. This was exhausting. He just wanted the _damn_ woman in his arms again. They could work out anything together. The constant tease of contact was maddening.

He just wanted Shepard back.

It was two days before he heard from her again. He was sipping coffee on the balcony of his apartment at 0600 when a familiar beep caught his attention.

* * *

_06:07: S: I don't want to end it. But I don't know how to fix what I've done._

_06:08: H: Just come back to me._

_06:09: S: Emotions are a son-of-a-bitch._

_06:10: H: Where are you?_

_06:11: S: I like the blue shirt. Is it new?_

_06:13: H: You're in Vancouver? _

_06:14: User has disconnected._

* * *

"Damn it." Hackett slammed his coffee cup on the table shattering it on impact. He stared at the coffee that was now dripping on the balcony floor.

* * *

It was emotional Russian roulette for Shepard. Since leaving Illium, she'd been traveling between various cities on Earth. It was easier to blend in with the masses on Earth. She was just another refugee trying to make her way.

Vancouver had recovered faster than she thought possible. Finding the right apartment had been easy; getting access to it without anyone realizing that she was Shepard was not so simple. The years on Earth in the Reds came in handy though. She'd been watching Hackett for a day or two. Staying so close was foolish, but…it was impossible to resist.

_Damn him. And damn her stupid heart to hell._

She left the city a few hours later. Hackett wouldn't rest if he knew she was in the city. And it was damn near impossible to stay completely off the radar minutes away from the Alliance headquarters. Toronto was her next stop. She felt like a goddamn drug addict. A few days without contacting the Admiral, and she damn near had the shakes. It wasn't long before she caved to the inevitable.

* * *

_21:03: S: You can stop searching. I'm not in Vancouver._

_21:09: H: I'll never stop. _

_21:10: S: I wish you would._

_21:11: H: It's not like you to lie, Shepard._

_21:14: S: Bastard. I'm not…_

_21:15: H: Would you like me to give up on you? To move on with someone else?_

_21:15: S: Damn you._

_21:16: H: I know what I want, Shepard. And it's you. I think I've been fairly obvious about that. If you are having second thoughts, if that's what this is about. Then you should let me know._

_21:17: H: If not, then you can expect me to hunt for you until I find you. You think about that for a bit._

_21:17: User has disconnected._

* * *

"Well…that went well." Shepard stared for a moment completely stunned.

Hackett had successfully managed to turn everything around and shove the truth in her face. She had the overwhelming urge to shoot something. She was at yet another public terminal that might draw a bit of attention.

_Goddamn fucking bastard._

She tapped her fingers on the terminal in front of her. It was too soon to just go back. And when she did, it wasn't as if they could all just pretend that she'd never left. There would be a price to pay. There always was. She couldn't go back until she'd figured out why the hell she left in the first place. The danger in staying away too long was that at some point, she'd run the risk of being gone so long that she could never go back.

And maybe she would have to learn how to apologize.

_No. Fuck it._

The Admiral was not going to give up. She'd always known that. She didn't want him to if she was completely honest with herself. Which...she wasn't. But by contacting him, she was afraid that she'd started a chain reaction. Hackett had let Liara handle the search up to this point. It was easy to avoid Liara without guilt. But avoiding Hackett if he was the one chasing after her wasn't going to be…impossible. She'd end up running towards him.

_She was so fucked. So very fucked, and not in the fun way._


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **

**Thanks for all the reviews, follows & favorites. It's always nice to know people are reading what you write lol.**

**Beta: None**

**Bioware owns all. Sadly.**

**Read. Enjoy. Review. **

_02:17: S: Are you there?_

_02:27: S: Are you still talking to me?_

_02:30: H: Of course._

_02:31 H: I was worried. It's been a few weeks._

_02:32: S: Traveling._

_02:33: H: What's got you up so late, Shepard? You never seem to sleep anymore._

_02:39: S: You._

_02:40: H: Why am I keeping you up?_

_02:45: S: I saw the Shadow Broker's agents in Toronto._

_02:46: S: Liara won't catch me. Ever._

_02:49: H: Liara won't catch you? Ever?_

_02:50: S: ….no. _

_02:51: H: You should get some rest Shepard. It's not like you to give away a tactical advantage._

_02:55: S: That's not an advantage. It's just a fact._

_02:56: H: It implies that someone else could catch you._

_02:59: S: You…_

_03:01: S: No, it doesn't._

_03:02: H: Oh, I think it does. Where are you, Shepard?_

_03:03: S: They won't find me._

_03:04: H: They?_

_03:05: H: Didn't I tell you? I'm taking an extended vacation now that the Alliance is back on its feet._

_03:06: S: Going somewhere fun?_

_03:07: H: I thought I'd find the woman who I love. You might call it a hunting expedition._

_03:09: User has disconnected._

* * *

Hackett chuckled at the now closed chat. The last two weeks had given him a lot of time to think about Shepard. Their conversation this evening just confirmed his theory. T'soni would always be one step behind the Commander. It was easy for her to be _logical _and _clinical_ with Liara. But not with him, she'd make more mistakes if he was the one trying to find her.

* * *

_This was a stupid idea._

It was the first anniversary of the Reaper war. Vancouver was having a massive celebration. Shepard knew that Hackett would be there. She couldn't' resist the chance to see him. She'd _borrowed_ a set of Alliance fatigues. With her hair dyed black, she pulled a cap down low over her face and just tried to blend in with the crowds gathered.

He gave a speech. It was a good speech. She waited for just the right moment, a moment when he was in the middle of the crowd heading away from the stage. She slid her hand up his back then tickled the back of his neck with her fingertips.

Hackett spun around at the touch. She grabbed him tightly by the front of the shirt. He didn't resist when she yanked him down for a kiss. He tried to wrap his arms around her, but she ducked under them. Her fingers trailed across his shoulders, and then she disappeared into the crowd.

She didn't stay in Vancouver.

She hadn't meant to touch him. Just like she hadn't really meant to run, she wasn't really running from him in any case. She'd lied when she'd told him it was the end of the war and the attention. Two weeks after the war, she'd been discharged from the hospital. Miranda had paid her a visit. Well, she paid her doctors a visit first. Then Lawson and her doctors had a long chat with Shepard. They weren't sure what happened when the Catalyst fired, but they were afraid that because of her proximity, she'd gotten hit with whatever it was. It had affected something in her brain.

Her biotics were _gone._ Just gone. She couldn't glow blue to save her life. She could live without that. The trouble was that the doctors were worried it wasn't just her biotics that were affected. They said a lot of shit that she didn't understand. But the gist of it all was that she had a fifty-fifty shot of being dead within the year.

_She didn't want to die._

The brilliant idea of leaving came to her because she wanted time to think. And she wanted to be alone if she was going to die. _Worst idea ever._ Doctor-patient confidential kept the docs from telling anyone, including Hackett. Miranda was a different story. That had required _careful diplomacy._

Hell, it had required blackmail. It was convenient though, because Miranda had managed to get her access to an untraceable bank account and a new identity for traveling. The former Cerberus officer was very handy with things like that.

Shepard didn't contact Hackett for a week. She was too busy traveling. She holed up at a hotel in Paris when she finally sent him a message.

* * *

_08:22: S: I liked your speech._

_08:32: S: Are you there?_

_08:47: S: I'll…try again later._

_08:48: S: User has disconnected._

* * *

Three hours later, Shepard was starting to get twitchy again. Maybe he was ignoring her. _Maybe _he was tracking her. She was paranoid, so she moved hotels. And then cities…twice…she ended up in London, again.

It was three days before she tried contacting Hackett again.

* * *

_17:35: S: Are you there?_

_17:48: H: I'm enjoying the lovely view from my hotel across the River Seine._

_17:49: S: Paris is a beautiful city._

_17:51: H: You should've stuck around. It's a rather romantic city._

_16:01: H: How's London?_

_16:02: S: How the hell?_

_16:04: H: I'm not T'soni. _

_16:05: H: Shepard, I know there's more to this than you are telling me._

_16:06: S: Nope._

_16:07: H: Shepard._

_16:08: S: What?_

_16:09: H: Miranda Lawson contacted me the other day. She tells me that she's been blackmailed into silence._

_16:10: H: So what's the big secret?_

_16:19: S: I have no idea what she's talking about._

_16:20: H: When the hell did you decide that you couldn't talk to me?_

_16:21: S: When I found out that I'm going to…that I might not…_

_16:21: User has disconnected._

* * *

She didn't want to tell him. If she told him, then it might actually be true. Instead of packing to leave again, she collapsed on the bed in exhaustion.

_So fucking tired._

It was supposed to be a short nap. Shepard woke up just before noon the following day. _Shit._ She shot off the bed and immediately began packing. This running thing was fucking exhausting. She listened to the local news cast while she prepared to leave.

"…the _Normandy_ continues its current mission to visit all the major cities in Europe. Admiral Hackett joined the crew this week to travel across Europe. Rumors abound that the Admiral has taken his first vacation…"

_Fuck._

* * *

_12:03: H: Don't run._

_12:04: H: I just want to talk to you._

_12:05: S: I'm already gone._

_12:06: H: Oh really?_

_12:07: S: Better luck next time._

_12:07: User has disconnected._

* * *

She took the back emergency exit to leave the hotel, just in case. With the _Normandy_ at the docks, getting out of London was going to be very tricky. It would be a fucking circus of Alliance military down there. _Shit. _Hackett was waiting outside the hotel when she exited. She ducked into a nearby alley before he saw her. He was in her favorite dark denim jeans and a crisp white dress shirt. _Sexy motherfucker_.

He turned and locked eyes with her. She intended to back away into the alley and disappeared. Her body decided to stop working. Hackett was across the street in seconds. He was standing in front of her not long after that.

It wasn't until his hands were on her arms that she started to back away. He held her arms firmly, she expected him to yell, but he just pulled her into a hug. Her voice wasn't working either. It was too soon. She wasn't ready to tell him. And he wouldn't take no for an answer, she knew that. When he stepped back to get a better look at her, she twisted out of his arms. She activated her tactical cloak and disappeared…literally.

"Damn it, Shepard." Hackett spun around but she was out of reach of his hands. "Please talk to me. Just fucking talk to me."

Her breath caught in her throat at the pain in his face. _Damn him._ Seeing but not touch was impossible, so she ran. She ran to the docks and snuck on the first ship headed for Citadel space. It was heading for Illium. She could head to Tuchanka from there. She needed fucking ryncol and it was clearly time to leave Earth. She waited until they were safely out of dock to contact the Admiral.

* * *

_15:30: S: Hackett?_

_15:31: H: Yes?_

_15:32: S: I…_

_15:43: H: What's wrong, Shepard? _

_15:46: S: I don't want you to …_

_15:48: S: I don't want you to watch me die._

_15:49: H: Die? What the hell are you talking about? Where are you? _

_15:50: S: On a cruiser headed for…it doesn't matter. I won't be staying there long. _

_15:51: S: Tell Miranda that I said she can talk to you about it. I can't. I can't do this anymore. _

_15:53: H: Whatever it is, Shepard. You aren't alone. You don't have to carry it alone. It isn't like the reapers where I can't help. Let me help._

_15:55: User has disconnected._

* * *

"Goddamn it." Hackett slammed his fist into the terminal.

He sent a message to Miranda Lawson and then headed back to the _Normandy_. He knew that Shepard was heading away from Earth. He was hoping that with Miranda and Liara's help, they would be able to pin down her next location faster. The _Normandy _could fly faster than any vessel the Commander boarded. It would be the edge that he needed to catch up to her.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **

**Thanks for all the reviews, follows & favorites. It's always nice to know people are reading what you write lol.**

**Beta: None**

**Bioware owns all. Sadly.**

**Read. Enjoy. Review. **

The ship had stopped at the Citadel before heading for Illium. Shepard decided to sneak off the vessel there. Wrex would have to wait. She wandered aimlessly around the Zakera ward for a while. It was weird being there and not being recognized. She finally found herself sitting in front of a public terminal. It was a goddamn compulsion at this point.

* * *

_10:12: S: Hey, Hackett? You there?_

_10:16: H: Always._

_10:19: H: Are you ok?_

_10:21: S: Fine. I'm fine._

_10:24: S: Feel like I drank all the ryncol on Tuchanka, then mud wrestled with Wrex._

_10:25: H: That's a very vivid visual. Thanks._

_10:27: S: Don't make me laugh, it hurts._

_10:30: H: I'm worried about you, Shepard._

_10:39: H: I'll chase you through every damn system on the galaxy map if I have to._

_10:41: S: You spoke with Miranda._

_10:42: H: Why didn't you tell me?_

_10:44: S: Have I ever struck you as a brilliant communicator?_

_10:46: H: Shepard._

_10:49: S: I tried…I failed._

_10:50: S: What do you want me to say? I was afraid? I'm afraid that I'm going to die…again._

_10:51: H: Shepard._

_10:55: S: Alenko was right on Horizon. I'm a fucking ghost. I just don't know it yet._

_10:57: User has disconnected._

* * *

Anger carried Shepard all the way to her apartment in Tiberius Towers. She'd used her tactical cloak to avoid being seen entering the building. That omni-tool upgrade was fucking useful. She was furious at herself, not at Hackett. The very idea that she might die pissed her off.

_She did not do fear._

The hot tub called her name. The doctors had _stressed_ the importance of taking it easy. Shepard wasn't sure what that actually meant. Her idea of taking it easy involved shooting mercs in the head. She had a feeling that the docs wouldn't agree.

She sank into the water a few minutes later and let the warm ease away some of the stiffness in her muscles. Her omni-tool was on the side of the tub. Her fingers tapped the edge of the tub absently. The internal…infernal…argument started almost immediately.

_Contact him._

_No._

_Do it._

_No._

She hoped that arguing with herself wasn't the first sign that she was about to croak. Her hand reached out for the omni-tool when it beeped.

_Damn it._

There was a new message.

* * *

_From: Hackett_

_To: Shepard_

_Subj: re: what do I want?_

_Since you disconnected before I could answer your question._

_I want you safe…in my arms._

_That's all._

_I love you._

_Hackett_

* * *

_12:07: S: Where are you?_

_12:08: H: On the Normandy._

_12:10: S: I don't know how to die without bullets or explosions being involved._

_12:12: H: Do not fucking give up hope, Shepard. You've beaten death before._

_12:13: S: Where's the Normandy?_

_12:14: H: Why?_

_12:15: S: Are you…_

_12:16: H: Yes?_

_12:17: S: I'm fighting my goddamn shadow here._

_12:18: H: I'm not sure what you mean, Shepard._

_12:19: S: Nothing. Nevermind. The loneliness gets to me sometimes, that's all._

_12:19: S: Hackett?_

_12:20: H: Yes?_

_12:28: H: Are you still there?_

_12:44: H: Shepard? _

_12:48: S: Sorry. I'm not feeling so…._

_12:49: H: What's going on? I'm worried about you, Shepard._

_12:54: S: …tired._

_12:55: H: Please tell me where you are. _

_12:56: S: I…I need to get out of the water…I feel like my insides are boiling. Not feeling very good._

_12:58: User has disconnected._

* * *

Shepard pulled herself up out of the hot tub. The world seemed to spin for a moment. It took her a moment to get stable on her feet. She dragged herself over to the bed and passed out on it.

* * *

Hackett paced in front of the terminal in Shepard's quarters on the _Normandy_. He needed to find her…now. He'd read the reports from Miranda and the doctors. This constant traveling could tip the scale against the possibilities of her surviving. _Damn it._

_Water._

_She said she had to get out of the water. It was too hot._

He stopped pacing to stare at the aquarium. _Of course._ The apartment on the Citadel had a hot tub. He ordered Joker to head for the Widow system immediately. He contacted Commander Bailey to have someone watching Tiberius Towers just in case she decided to run.

The jump to the Serpent Nebula felt like it took a damn century. He had Cortez shuttle him to the Silversun Strip. The apartment was quiet when he stepped inside. He headed to the upstairs bedroom with the hot tub. Shepard was sprawled across the bed…naked.

_Please be breathing._

He placed two fingers on her neck to check for a pulse. _Thank god_. He tossed his shirt aside and eased on the bed next to her. He pulled a blanket up over both of them and then wrapped his arms around her. Shepard mumbled in her sleep and then shifted around until her face pressed into the crook of his neck.

_Alive._

She was safe in his arms again. And he had no intention of letting her go. He would find a way to make her better. First, he'd have to find a way to make her stay. It was several hours before Shepard stirred in her sleep. He felt her lift her hand and then her fingers brushed against his beard. She shifted slightly while she stretched her back. Her lips touched his neck tentatively.

"This is a very good dream." She murmured against his skin. "_Very good._"

Hackett tightened his arms around her. "How are you feeling?"

"You aren't going to let me go this time, are you?" Shepard ignored his question.

"Not a _chance_." He hooked his leg around hers to anchor her closer to him.

"Good." Her hand drifted from his chin to rest on his chest. "I still don't feel…"

"Shepard?" He lifted her chin with a hand to find that she'd passed out. A small trickle of blood was starting to fall from one of her nostrils. _Shit. _He needed to get her to the hospital. "This is Admiral Hackett. I need an emergency transport to Huerta Memorial."

He pulled his shirt back on and just got Shepard into clothes by the time Bailey arrived with a team from the hospital. He was not going to lose her now…not after everything. He sent a message out to Miranda in the hopes that she might be able to help the medical staff on the Citadel.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **

**I believe this will be the last chapter. I know it's short, but it's all I've got lol. **

**I finally got an idea for another Hackett/Shepard story, so be on the look-out for a new story in a couple of days. =)**

**Thanks for all the reviews, follows & favorites. It's always nice to know people are reading what you write lol.**

**Beta: None**

**Bioware owns all. Sadly.**

**Read. Enjoy. Review. **

"This is _not_ a good dream." Shepard groaned as she opened her eyes. She looked around what looked suspiciously like Huerta Memorial. "Goddamn hospitals, goddamn doctors..."

"I've got good news and bad news." Hackett stepped into the room and interrupted her next expletive. He sat on the edge of the bed next to her.

"Is ryncol involved?" Shepard reached a hand up to the bandage wrapped around her head. "If there's no ryncol, I'm not interested."

"Shepard."

"Fine, what's the good news?" She sighed.

"You're not dying."

"_What?"_ She dropped her hand to stare at him in shock. "What. The. Fucking. Fuck?"

"The doctors made a mistake. The shock-wave from the Crucible appears to have fried your implants and knocked your biotics out of commission. The readings that they got at the time from your brain...caused confusion and concern," Hackett explained.

"Can I shoot them? The doctors, I mean, because I really feel the need to cause them permanent death." Shepard was not feeling all that grateful for the good news. "They couldn't have figured this shit out eleven months ago and saved months of enforced celibacy? I don't do celibacy well."

"Doctor Chakwas wanted me to remind you that she told you at the time that additional testing was needed before they were certain." Hackett raised an eyebrow at her.

"So…that's a no, I can't shoot them." Shepard glared up at him. "Are you sure?"

"They are a hundred percent sure that you aren't in danger of dying…at least from the Crucible." Hackett seemed greatly relieved.

"No, not about that, I mean about shooting the fucking doctors." Shepard laughed then immediately regretted it since her head still throbbed a little.

Hackett shook his head with an amused grin. "Careful or they won't let me take you home."

"Home?"

"Well, a temporary one for the moment, I've got this great vacation rental on the coast. It's on a secure Alliance base, so no crowds, no people wanting your attention or mine." Hackett took her hand in his.

"What _will_ we do to kill time?" Shepard found herself feeling much better all of a sudden.

"A year is a long damn time not to touch you, Shepard." Hackett brushed her cheek with his knuckles. "I'm confident that I can find a way to keep you busy."

"Wait a minute; you said bad news and good news. What's the bad news?" Shepard suddenly remembered his earlier statement.

"Ahh, yes, it seems that your biotics are still not working. They replaced your implant with a new one. But…they have no idea if they'll work again. You'll have to try them out when you're feeling better." Hackett's attention was pulled away by a doctor stepping into the room.

"Admiral?" Doctor Michel stood just inside the door. "A moment, please?"

Shepard watched him started to leave. She needed to say something, and she wasn't sure. She glanced down at her hands, _what the hell,_ might as well give it a try. The doctors were clearly idiots. Shepard raised a hand up and froze Hackett mid-step in a biotic stasis. She grinned at the doc.

"He'll join you in a second, Doc." Shepard waved the woman out of the room, and then released Hackett.

"Well, I guess it was good news and better news." Hackett turned back towards her.

"Hackett?" She reached out to take his hand when he moved within reach.

"Yes?"

Shepard stared down at their joined hands for a moment before finally looking up into his eyes. "I'm sorry that I didn't…you know."

"Talk to me before you disappeared?" He suggested helpfully.

She huffed at him in annoyance. "I'm trying to…I love you, jackass."

Hackett chuckled for a moment then leaned down to gently kiss her. "I love you too, Shepard."


End file.
